Networking: The Wandering Eye Syndrome

From time to time, at a networking event, I have been talking to a colleague or client and their eyes are wandering elsewhere, sweeping the room. I suspect that they are looking for someone in particular. But it always makes me feel insignificant, like I’m just a “place holder” until someone more important comes along.

In fact, a couple of weeks ago I met with someone after a lunch networking event. The entire time we were talking, he was glancing over my shoulder to see who else was coming in the door. It was difficult to even keep my train of thought because I wasn’t sure I had his attention.

So what happens? Yesterday, at a business luncheon, I was visiting with a good friend before the event. I was also periodically checking the entrance door for our guests so I could direct them to our table when they arrived. I suddenly realized I was doing the exact thing I resent when other people do it to me. In fact, my business partner scolded me afterwards. I felt horrible!

Two lessons here. First, when you are talking with a business colleague, or client, or prospect, stay focused on the moment. Whatever your reason is for not giving them your full attention, your wandering eyes will send a message that they are not important to you. Secondly, always practice what you preach!

Comments

[Mark Harrison]

Bob,
I hate the wandering eye, and thanks to you, now I know why. Like you, I caught myself doing the wrong thing the other day, trying to sneak a peak at my iPhone. A double foul. Not paying attention and appearing to show off new technology, neither of which I should be doing. I'm leaving the phone in the car.

Mark

[Bob Dunn]

Thanks for the comment Mark. And yes, we have those cell phones to add to the mix. Who knows what next will make our eyes wander!

[Cheryl Steffen]

Hey Bob,
I know I am personally guilty of this. I try to stay focused "visually" but with my eyesight (center of vision isn't clear) I am always "bouncing" my eyes back and forth to fill in the entire picture. And at the same time, I may be lookign for an appoointment to walk in. If there's no appointment, it's not so obvious. I am conscious of this at times and often apologize for it but more often than not, I don't mention it and just do it out of need for a clear picture so to speak. I know it must be frustrating for someone chatting with me but I hate talking about my eye problems and just hope they don't notice.

Great post and a very important point to give.

Cheryl

[Judy Dunn]

Cheryl,

I would dare to say that you're excused. But the rest of us? We don't really have a good reason.

There is a lot to be said for "staying in the moment" with the person you are conversing with. We just need to be reminded sometimes!