What a Middle Schooler Can Teach Us About Relationship Marketing

Bob and I were at the annual Ahead of the Class Excellence In Education Awards the other night, an event that has never failed to touch me deeply in the eight years we've been a sponsor.

The local Chamber of Commerce organizes this event, helped by lots of business owners who have a tremendous sense of community. The coolest pastor in the city was the emcee this year and leaders from many segments of the community turned out to celebrate our best and brightest teachers: the board chair of the local hospital, the president of the college, city councilpersons, school board members, the school superintendent, teachers, parents and students.

I have to admit that I have a passion for education. I have been a teacher and know just how much heart, soul and energy goes into every single day in the classroom.

One of the awards that night was given to a high-spirited team of middle school educators. Something the school principal said as he introduced this team of 6th grade language arts and social studies teachers struck me.

He asked us to recall our own middle school selves, or those challenging days when we might have been parenting one.

He talked about how special the middle schooler is, how unique. But he also said that as a principal, he is still amazed at how many times he stops a student in the hall and says (and he pointed his index finger to his temple as he said it), "It might be better if you just keep some of it up here. Maybe think before you open your mouth?"

Of course this broke the audience up because we all know how 13-year-olds think, talk, behave. They are transparent. And yes, sometimes they can be downright weird.

I got wondering, though. In this day of relationship marketing, where it's all about coming out with who you really are, being authentic, being unique and not trying to be someone you're not, would being more like our middle school selves be so bad? Wouldn't being more spontaneous, less canned, make us more real to our customers? Would being "a little weird" kill us?

Or would it maybe attract the right kind of people, customers who are weird in the same way we are, who fit our niche perfectly? (Yes, I'm getting a little Long Tail-ish on you here.)

So much energy goes into trying to be something we're not. A little more of "this is who I am and this is what I feel, and this is what I'm passionate about" will not only help us find the work we were destined to do. It'll help us connect with the people we were supposed to be working with all along. And it'll make us real to our clients and customers.

Try it. Call your middle school self and see what happens.