A Copywriter's Rant: Marketing with Cheesy Clichés and Lazy Words

Bob and I used to play a word game when we got bored at a business event.

Driving back from, say, a State of the City rubber chicken luncheon, we scanned our notes of words we had jotted down. The point of the game: to make the sentence that used the most tired, overworked phrases from the main presenter's speech.

This day, the game was easy because we had just listened to the mayor's mind-numbing, 60-minute speech.

The rules were simple: To count, the word or phrase must be overused and the speaker must have uttered it at least once.

My winning sentence

On this day, I won the contest with this 61-word sentence using 20 of the mayor's inspirational words:

This innovative, grassroots initiative is a hands-on example of how one community-based, valued-added project with out-of-the-box solutions can create a win-win situation by engaging the community and harnessing the power of partnerships, leaving no stone unturned as we set the stage for our vision for a bright future and a world-class, state-of-the-art city government that celebrates diversity and gets measurable results.

Bob decided to concede the contest right then and there.

What's wrong with a well-placed cliché?

At one time, clichés had their place. They were fresh, memorable.

For example, when the caveman first heard his pal say, "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." I can just see the way his eyes must have lit up as he pondered the idea, picturing the bird, the hand, the bush.

Or the first dozen times a sales letter talked about a product "selling like hotcakes." Clichés became popular in the first place because people "got" what you were saying, often instantly.

But somewhere along the line we've heard them too many times. One description too many of a "cutting edge" product, or a "hands-on" session. Those words are now fluffy, full of air, balloons we deflate only to find nothing inside.

Banning "lazy" adjectives

While we're on the subject, why not take a look at "lazy" adjectives? You know, the ones that don't add any meaning, don't appeal to the senses or emotions?

Here's a clue. How many of the adjectives below help you get a picture of something, hear something, feel something?:

• amazing (I'm guilty of this one. Me and talk show hosts and a million other people.)
• awesome (Does this still mean inspiring in a kind of mouth-dropping way?)
• cool (Nothing could be less descriptive, except, perhaps, "very cool").
• great (I thought Abe Lincoln was a great president, but now blog posts are "great," so I'm not sure.)
• nice (Don't get me started on this one.)
• innovative (Used to mean original, new. Now I don't know because everything is innovative.)
• once-in-a-lifetime (How can they tell?)

Marketing tagline hell

You've seen the carpet cleaners' and furniture stores' commercials, the ads for the tire companies. They litter the marketing schoolyard with tired, worn-out phrases like:

X is the new y (as in 70 is the new 50).
We deliver.
We go the extra mile.
We're here for you 24/7.
Discover the difference. (What in the world does this mean?)
One-stop service.
The leader in (fill in the blank).
The next-generation car.

How do you describe your business?

When I read a business's marketing stuff, I scan the text, jumping over the words that I've read too many times to attach any meaning to them. Like these, which I found on a few business networking sites—on the profile pages of some very smart, talented solopreneurs:

competitive edge
strategic alliances
partner with
grow your business
push the envelope
identify barriers
implement success strategies
breakthrough technology

Not sure what any of them mean anymore.

When and how to use clichés in your marketing copy

1. Know when to use them. Use clichés when you want to connect with your audience, but do so wisely—and sparingly. Avoid them when you want to wake your reader up. And never change a phrase just to change it. Sometimes a cliché says what you want to say perfectly. If it does, use it.

2. Use this three part-test when you are considering writing with a cliché.

• Does it appeal to one of the senses (can the reader picture it, hear it, smell it, touch it?)
• Does it evoke an emotion?
• Does it convey your business's uniqueness or does it sound just like everyone else?

So, what's the word or phrase that drives you crazy? If you could erase one word (or group of words) from the collective memory of humankind, what would it be?

Comments

[Jen Vondenbrink]

Hi Judy - "great" comments here! :) No really, I appreciate you diving into this taboo topic. The examples were clear and the last three questions, well I'll be using those tomorrow on a couple articles and press releases I am planning on sending out.

I'm going to use your technique of reading my writing to see where I glaze over. If I'm doing it then my readers are doing it, right!

Sorry I've been away for a while. It was a crazy couple of weeks in August. It's good to be back on a schedule...and learning!

Thanks Judy.

[Judy Dunn]

Jen,

Thanks for the comment. Sounds like you've been plenty busy.

I don't write about copywriting much on this blog, but I've just been seeing a rash of marketing materials with trite, tired language.

Glad you're back. Hope some of the time was spent on an actual vacation!

[DeBorah Beatty]

Well done, yet again, Judy. I love this game. I'll have to play it myself. Of course, my husband doesn't usually go with me to events so I suppose it's one I can play alone?

Anyway - You are so very right about the overused cliches, I read through them and started feeling really embarassed - so many of them are part of my repertoire! Guess I'll have to invent some new ones from here on.

I have another one, though - self-supporting strategy - that was suggested by a colleague, but what does it mean, exactly?

Anyway - got a new address for my blog (I have spent the last week moving everything and hunting down the bugs (sons of glitches), stop by and help me fluff the new pillows!

[Judy Dunn]

DeBorah,

Thanks for stopping by!

Self-supporting strategy. Hmmm...No, I can't get a picture of that, either.

It probably wouldn't be as much fun playing this game alone because: 1. There's no one to play AGAINST (okay, Im a little competitive) and 2. You can't read your sentence to anyone after you've finished it.

It would, however, keep you from falling asleep during the speech because you have something to do. And, besides, the mayor, if he glances at you, will think you are getting a lot from his speech because you're taking so many notes.

I'll stop by and take a look at your blog. It's so helpful to get feedback, isn't it?

[bruce colthart]

Wow, yes, I love that sorta game! Reminds me of the [now slightly-aging] “Bullshit Bingo” ( http://www.bullshitbingo.net/cards/bullshit ) game we used to print out and play in my last corporate job, during meetings and executive addresses.

Funny, as I was using the web to try to recall another similar site, a phrase-generator, ( http://dack.com/web/bullshit.html ) I stumbled upon a decidedly more web 2.0 version ( http://emptybottle.org/bullshit/ ). Surely, there must be others.

It's pretty clear that plenty of people know about this, and the difference between being spoken to versus spoken at. Sadly, there are plenty more, especially small businesses who haven't yet felt the backlash or heard the crickets chirp when they're finished blathering on.

In 2006, David Meerman Scott on his Web Ink Now blog ( http://www.webinknow.com ) analyzed and quantified the results of combing 388,000 press releases that year for such business "jargon," and included a chart showing some of the worst - and most frequent - offenders. His Gobbledygook Manifesto post ( http://tinyurl.com/6ahzn2 ) is his call for marketers to write to the buyers by understanding them and speaking in their language, versus speaking with overly inbred, business-focused, "me too" nonsense.

To those lazy marketers and writers among us who keep slapping the snooze button on the customer feedback alarm, let Judy's words be a big bucket of cold water on your head. Now get up and help rid the world of the gobbledygook scourge!

[Judy Dunn]

These sites are hysterical, Bruce.

I particularly like what the guy at webintheknow.com said.

Basically, it was to take the language you've dreamed up and substitute the name of a competitor and their product or service for your own. Does it still make sense? If it does, it isn't the right message and choice of words.

Thanks for all the links. And yes, the Bingo game would be easier than the old-fashioned construct-a-sentence game. I think I remember seeing it once, way back.

[Kaya Singer]

I love what you wrote. It's funny how a phrase can move from being "cutting edge" and "cool," to being warn out and then instead of putting forth positive feel good vibes, it actually becomes negative. The word "paradigm" made this transition. It was a really good word and then suddenly it wasn't. "New age" was similar. It was a really good phrase for awhile and then went belly up. "Law of Attraction" has made that switch now. Every time I see it I want to puke.

OK- I still say "grow your business" as part of my tag line. I think it can work as long as it's not by itself. Mine is, "clear your focus and grow your business," Maybe I am rationalizing but I am not changing it!( yet)

[Judy Dunn]

Kaya,

Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

Yes, the word "paradigm" is on my "dead list," too.

I was on the board of an international nonprofit when I lived in Los Angeles and a fellow board member, a physician, used this word in, I swear it must have been, every other sentence. I think maybe it started in the medical field or something.

And "grow your business"? There is no reason to stop using it, if it says what you want to say and you have made a conscious, thoughtful decision to use it. Certain words say perfectly what you want to get across. If they do, use them!

[DeBorah Beatty]

Reading through the comments, it reminded me of a speech I heard once years ago and have been looking for the text of ever since. It was nothing more than all the great phrases strung together into a speech that, if you didn't listen closely, was wonderfully crafted and a real crowd pleaser, but if you started listening to what was actually being said, there was nothing actually offered. It included phrases like, "It was morning and it dawned on him". I believe it was a Toastmasters humorous take on what not to say in a speech, but I have never been able to find it. Anyone else know this one?

[Judy Dunn]

Hey, Bruce, are you listening in? (I've found him a good source of obscure stuff.)

I personally haven't heard of it, DeBorah, but it sounds like a fun take on clichés. Have you done a Google search?

[Stacy Karacostas]

Awesome post Judy! :-)

But seriously, this is a topic more people should be thinking about.

I personally hate generalization and anything that falls in the realm of corporate-speak (I'm not interested in having anyone help me to, say, ramp up my internal messaging and create additional value-ads for the end consumer).

I also have a thing against stating the obvious or something that should be a given-especially in a tag line. I once had a client whose tagline was Quality Remodeling and Design Since 1979. Well gee, I hope it's quality work.

One of my rules of thumb is that if your competition would never say the opposite, you're not saying much. I mean, would anyone promote crappy remodeling and design???? I hope not.

The key is to use words that both mean something and differentiate you from your competition. For folks who struggle with writing effective marketing materials, tag lines, elevator speeches and the like, I've created a Free 7-Day Copywriting E-course available at http://www.copyecourse.com.

Thanks for the little phrase game. It should provide days of fun for me and my hubby, especially since this is a presidential campaign year!

Best,

Stacy

Stacy Karacostas
Practical Marketing Expert
www.success-stream.com

[Judy Dunn]

Thanks for stopping by, Stacy!

You hit it when you said that your words should differentiate you from your competition.

The game just provides me a little relief from those boring lunches. But it also helps reinforce the importance of saying who you are in a unique, benefit-rich way.

Oh, and the presidential campaign! Don't get me started. I was an alternate delegate to a convention whose party I won't name years ago, but I've become jaded since then.

I'll be watching the speeches, and doing the cliché grading thing.
The first cliché is "change," right? EVERYBODY is the party of change.