No Time for Relationship Marketing: Why Can't I Just Sell Stuff?

Because selling without a relationship first makes me run away.

Remember the last time you were at the mall and you avoided eye contact with that carnival barker ahem, I mean, 22-year old clerk, at the T-shirt kiosk?

Or the time you got an email sales blast from some robot marketer you didn't even know and they called you by your first name? ("Hi Judy, I've been meaning to tell you about this cool [fill in the blank] we're offering only for the next 24 hours!!!!")

Always, the exclamation points.

In Internet marketing, we run away from people who pretend to know us but don't have a clue who we really are.

If you get this, you are in the top 5 percent of marketers on the web today.

Because I don't really know if I need your products or services yet.

Sometimes I don't know at first that I even need what you are trying to sell to me. It's pretty hard to establish a need, make an emotional connection, build credibility, and sell, all in one swoop.

Try a little empathy first. Relate to your reader. (There's that word again.) What are their problems, fears, dreams?

Because I've been screwed over before.

In other words, I don't trust you because that last guy took my money and gave me a crappy product and when I tried to reach him, I got no answer.

If you give first, your promises will be more likely to be believed.

Because there are too many others just like you out there.

But wait. Mr. Rogers said, "You are special. You are the only one like you."

How can you show that? Not by waving red-letter signs with exclamation points. You could try to have a conversation. Tell your customers and readers just why you can solve their problems better than anyone else. Why you are different.

Because I'm having an 'Alexander and the Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day' day

Like the boy in the picture book, maybe I woke up with gum in my hair and my brothers found the prizes in the cereal box and I got nothing and my teacher didn't like my drawing of the invisible castle and my dentist told me I have a cavity and…You get the point.

If you catch me on a bad day and I don't know who you are anyway, well, I'm not going to listen to you. Because I'm having a bad day, okay?

But if you are more of a friend, if you've been giving me good stuff all along and I happen to have a bad day, I'm probably not going to cross you off my list. I'll go back to your offer when I'm feeling better. Or I'll respond to another offer down the road.

My relationship marketing story

About a week and a half ago, I was honored to be a guest on The Brent and Brandi Show, an entertaining and engaging Internet radio show on marketing and branding. We talked about creative storytelling in the context of relationship marketing and, more specifically, content marketing. You can listen to the show here.

Do opportunities like this come out of the blue? I don't think so.

I met Brent Haeseker and Brandi Pierce on biznik.com, the ultra-cool business networking site for solopreneurs and indie professionals. We started talking online. We commented on each other's articles.

Later, Brent signed up for my weekly marketing etip and then subscribed to the blog. We were building the relationship. 

Six months later, I was a guest on the Brent and Brandi Show. Relationships don't always take six months to develop, but the point is, Brent and Brandi felt like they knew me. They had read my content and saw me as a credible "expert." How cool is that?

So, yeah, relationship marketing works for me. In so many ways and on so many levels.

What about you? Have good things come to you from relationship marketing?

P.S. Wanna start building more relationships? Follow me on Twitter!

Comments

[David]

Nice "Alexander" reference. One of my favorites.

Your analogy with the kiosk guy sums up the concept nicely. It's hard to "sell" stuff, but when it comes out of an existing relationship and addresses a real need ("man... this phone sucks, I need a new one. Any ideas?") it's not selling - it's helping.

It requires patience. One of my clients is someone I corresponded with for a year and a half before she emailed one day and asked me to illustrate something for her mag.

It was a nice feeling because I never "sold" her anything.

Now I have to go check out the radio show.

[Judy Dunn]

David,

You are so right. Patience is key. And when a relationship already exists, it's almost doing someone a favor. "I can fix that problem for you."

The message in your story about the 1.5-yr. friendship is so important. That was a very cool ending.

Wow, if you checked out my radio show appearance, that would be awesome!

I wrote a previous blog post about how nervous I was It was about the time you were posting about your Oregon SCBWI
Conference jitters. Synchronicity!

[Brent Haeseker]

Great post Judy and I agree relationship marketing works. Your relationship marketing built a relationship with me and made me look to you as the expert in your field. When it was time for a show on copywriting, you were the obvious choice. You are also at the top of my list if I need to refer someone to a qualified copywriting (whoops, I should be using the term storyteller! ;-) ). Building relationships helps to attract business, whether directly or indirectly.

Thanks again for being on the show and providing excellent information!

Brent

[Brent Haeseker]

Whoops - I had a typo in my last post... That's what happens when I try to do my own copywriting....

[Judy Dunn]

Brent,

I'm honored you stopped by. I read your blog and you always give me things to think about and apply to my own business. I especially liked your recent post on branding.

Thanks again for giving me the opportunity to be on The Brent and Brandi Show.

[Jen Vondenbrink]

Hi Judy - loved the post. I think in this day and age, we've gotten so far away from relationships that it's almost "whatever was old is new again." Think back to the local grocery store. You knew the manager, possibly the owner and the clerks that worked there. When the manager told you there was a special, you checked it out because you knew and trusted him.

My grandmother had polio as a child which left her unable to walk well the rest of her life. I only knew her with a walker...it was just part of who she was. Well because of this, she leveraged her relationships at the grocer, butcher, produce guy, whatever to not only shop for her, but save her money and deliver it to her door. There was always something special for them when they arrived.

When we build relationships with people, both parties get exactly what they want in the form they want it in. I truly believe that is the only way to long term success.

Jen

[Judy Dunn]

Jen,

I get what you are saying. We have gone away to some extent from relationships with "brick and mortar" businesses to the impersonal Web.

That's an interesting story about your grandmother. She didn't just take. She gave, too. And so it was reciprocal.

Thanks for stopping by. I've missed you.