'Crazy Cat' Edition: Does the Real You Show Up Online?

My odd-eyed Turkish Van cat Nuz has multiple personality disorder. 

Okay, he doesn't really show multiple personalities because he's a cat. It's more like multiple animalities.

He usually displays them when he's trying to talk me into something. But sometimes it's when he's yawning. Or bird watching.

This morning, I swear to God, he did this short "whinny" sound, just like a pony.

I was working on the laptop at the dining room table. After neighing, he trotted into the kitchen and sat on the tile by the refrigerator, with that laser-focused stare of his aimed at me. The old Friskies Chicken and Salmon con game.

A cat with identity issues

Nuz, at different times, and God only knows for what reasons, has made a flat, nasal sound—sort of like a duck—chattered like a squirrel, and warbled like a songbird. Sometimes he produces a perfectly mimicked bull's snort. He even growls like a bulldog and, oddly enough, fetches pieces of wadded up paper and drops them at my feet, ears perked, waiting for me to toss them across the room again.

Problem is, Nuz never knows who he is. I never know who he is until he shows up. And when he does, he decides who he wants to be at that moment.

Not your consistent, "I can trust you because I know you will always be a cat" kind of guy.

Do you have identity issues? 

I'm working with a couple of new clients who have asked me exciting, insightful questions from the start. Stuff that made me feel how lucky I am to be playing in their sandbox.

"I want you to help me figure out who I am, said one, an executive coach with a highly specialized and very cool niche, "and how to build an online identity that shows how unique I am."

I wanted to get up right then and there and do a back flip. (Didn't, though. There wasn't enough room in this particular Starbucks.)

The other client, a leadership development trainer, said, "I want a website that shows my values and personality, complete with my crazy sense of humor."

Wow. Two people in one week who get how important it is to have a face and a unique voice on the Web.

Find your true self. And show it.

Before I help these two clients create their perfect blogs and websites, I'll be taking each of them through a thinking process, with questions such as these, so their real selves show up consistently and they attract the people who are comfortable working with him and who they were meant to serve:

What are the top three things you believe about people?

If you could describe yourself with three adjectives, what would they be?

Why are you doing what you do? What do you love most about the business you are in?

Name your top three passions. (This will lead you to the things you really care about and eventually to the stories you want to tell your customers.)

What's the best compliment you ever got from a customer?

What expressions do you use a lot with customers or clients? Favorite quotes? (The language piece that is so important to making you sound authentic.)

If you are writing your own website copy, or having someone else do it for you, give a little thought to these questions. And ask yourself other ones.

Listen to the answers.

Because the last thing you want is for your customers to think you are just like Nuz, the 'crazy cat.' 

Comments

[Jen Vondenbrink]

Hi Judy - I love your cat! Sounds like my dog. I have to admit that I've been dabbling in multiple personalities over the past 8-9 months. I definitely has shown up in my online presence and to tell you the truth, it was driving me crazy so I can only imagine what it was doing to others. I'm now focusing on my core strengths and talents. The hard part is putting the words together to say what you mean. Thank you for the questions you've included in this post because I think they will really help me find those words!

[Judy Dunn]

Jen,

Great to hear from you. That is so cool that you are giving thought and attention to your core message and unique self. It might be a challenge but it is so worth the effort.

Emotional connections are hard to make on the Web, but when the real you shows up, people can't help but notice.

Will be checking your website to see how you tackle this.

Judy

[Jeff Machado]

That IS exciting to find clients like that. Those types of thoughts usually come much later on in the process so it's exciting to see that you have such forward thinking people to work with.

Hopefully the crazy sense of humor one will be doing tons of videos! That will be the easiest way to show off that side.

That's actually why I can't wait to start doing more videos so people can really get to see who I am - it will help me a lot with crossing that digital divide that exists. I'll include links to them in emails so they can get a much better Hello than just words on a screen.

[Judy Dunn]

Jeff,

Thanks for adding to the conversation. I agree on the videos. We are in the process of having new videos done for our website.

It seems, especially, in your line of business, where you are so often reaching across the miles, that videos will be key to building that trust and credibility.

I appreciate the time you took to stop by and comment.

[Mary Anne Fisher]

Fantastic post!

Discovering, tapping into and aligning with your authentic self and voice is more critical to business success than ever before.

It's a key factor and focus area with all my clients. It's the part of my coaching I'm most passionate about and I excel in helping clients "get there."

Ironically, it happens to be one of my biggest personal challenges. I'm a "byproduct" of past corporate marcom conditioning and still struggle with letting "me" shine through in written communications.

I love the questions you pose. The one I most resonate with is...

"What are the top three things you believe about people?"

Great stuff, Judy. I'm really happy to have connected with you. :-)

[Judy Dunn]

Mary Anne,

Great to see you here! From your use of Twitter (and the posts I've read on your own blog), you seem to have this authenticity thing down.

I totally know what you mean by "past corporate marcom conditioning." We had a little bit of that in the school leadership arena, too. I think we thought that if you share a fear or admit you don't know something, you'll lose your credibility. But, actually, just the opposite is true.

If you are passionate about helping your coaching clients find and express their true selves, I imagine you are getting incredible results.

I am grateful to have found you on Twitter, too. Keep up the good work.

[René Fabre]

Judy... Great post. Your new clients really sound like fun, and what spot on questions, concerns, and conversation.

What are the top three things you believe about people?
1. Given the chance, a little understanding, and a trusting nudge… people can be quite daring.
2. Most everyone really cares about doing the right thing.
3. People want to be authentic, generous, transparent, with authority, but they have doubt
.
If you could describe yourself with three adjectives, what would they be?
Passionate, Inquisitive, Relentless…

Why are you doing what you do? What do you love most about the business you are in?
I love my job… it affords me with an amazing kaleidoscope of opportunities to connect and make a difference. Everyday is a different adventure that always includes other people. What I love most, especially this last year, is our roundtable conversations about IT marketing with clients. I find it extremely rewarding to share the stories and witness epiphanies of possibility. It is so important to know it’s not about the answers, it’s about the questions and the journey. That being authentic means just that, simply being you and taking that online.
Name your top three passions.
The creative process, music, discovery
OMG... I better go blog, you got me going LOL...
thx...

[Judy Dunn]

Wow, I'm impressed, René. You actually took the time to answer the questions.

I love your answers to the top three things you believe about people. The answers, of course, shape not only how you see the world, but how you relate to your customers/clients.

Yes, you'd better go blog because I can hear a post a brewin!

[Liz]

I love the questions! Those are so insightful and I'll bet they really give you kind of a window into your client's soul. One of my favorite questions to ask is, when you were 5 what did you want to be when you grew up (and why did you think that would be cool)? It always helps me sort out those who are in touch with their creativity from those who need a bit of help tapping into it.

Your new clients sound so fun -- congrats, and enjoy!

[Judy Dunn]

Liz,

Glad to connect with you. You know, the question you posed made me smile. Bob (my husband and biz partner) host monthly networking lunches through an organization we belong to, biznik.com. Every month we have a "surprise question" we ask and people share their answers.

The questions are meant to go way beyond "Who's your favorite client" and give us a deeper sense of who people really are. One month we asked just that: "What did you want to be when you were a child and why?" Fascinating answers.

I checked out your web site and you are doing some interesting work. Thanks for stopping by!