Writing Mistakes That Make You Look Stupid: 5 Things Your Teacher Was Right About

Recently I read an article on writing that encouraged bloggers to forget everything about writing they learned in school.

Yeah, sometimes English teachers can overload you with reading books by dead white authors.

It's not exactly the way to get the hang of writing to inform, engage and entertain. You know, like the good bloggers and content marketers do?

I believe in breaking the rules—when it makes sense and doesn't make you look stupid.

Take my blog post title. You are never supposed to end a sentence with a preposition like "of" or "about," right? The right way to write that title would be:

5 Things About Which Your Teacher Was Right.

Now read that aloud. It's silly, clunky and downright stupid sounding. So don't write it that way. Go ahead. Break the rule.

But there are other rules you shouldn't break. Because when you do, your readers lose faith in you. Your silly mistakes make them stop reading. Or they just get so distracted about the wrong word choice that it's all they can see, in a blinking-stoplight-at-an-intersection kind of way.

 

5 things your teacher was right about

1. Use exclamation points sparingly. You've seen it before. A piece of marketing copy that screams at you:

Sign up now! Don't wait! Time is running out! Get your online marketing ebook for just $19.99! It'll give you everything you need to know to start your own online business! Offer good until December 31, 2009! Click here to order!

Okay, the exclamation point test. Read the above paragraph aloud. For every sentence that has an exclamation point at the end, read with the proper emotion. That would be with extreme excitement. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Does it sound a little silly? Of course it does. I don't use exclamation points a lot. When I do, it's to scream.

2. Use apostrophes in the right way. This one gets me going. A lot. Someone will write:

The movie had it's moments, but, mostly, it was boring.

Okay, test time. Every time you use an apostrophe, say the sentence using the two separate words instead (in this case, "it is" instead of "it's). If it still makes sense, you've used the apostrophe correctly. If it doesn't make sense, lose that apostrophe. In the above sentence, it would read:

The movie had it is moments, but, mostly, it was boring.

The writer should have used "its" instead of "it's."

3. Dump the clichés. I wrote one post on clichés and then another, so I won't go on and on here. Just know that words like "killer" and "awesome" and "rock star" make you sound like every other writer out there. Find your unique voice and use it.

4. Avoid 'throat clearing.' I love this term. I heard it first from Chris Brogan. One of the rules in the classic book on writing by Strunk and White says it a little differently: "Omit needless words." Whatever you want to call it, it means getting the scissors out and cutting anything that doesn't add meaning or value to your sentence. Take the first sentence of this memo: 

It has come to my attention that we are having a problem with some of our staff who are arriving late and leaving early. 

The writer doesn't need the first seven words. Because if it hadn't come to her attention, how could she be writing about it? So, removing those and other needless words, you have: 

Some staff are arriving late and leaving early. 

Then go on to explain how that is hurting the company and what should be done about it. 

5. Adverbs are not your friends. This one comes from the great Stephen King in his book On Writing. He goes so far as to say, "The road to hell is paved with adverbs." Use a strong verb instead. It's much more powerful. Take the sentence:

He closed the door firmly.

Is the word "firmly" really necessary? Why not say instead: 

He slammed the door.

 It's okay to use adverbs. Just be careful, so when you do use one, it makes your sentence stand out. Mostly though, you should just avoid them. 

Do you see writing mistakes that make you cringe? Care to share them? 

Comments

[carl]

I don't remember my teacher saying any of those 5 things. But I thank you for sharing and educating.

I love that every time I read your blog I learn something either about writing or about myself.

[Rene Fabre]

I agree with Carl... I love the Stephen King book 'On Writing'. I'm guilty of all 5, but I have made a lot of progress this last year with scissors.

[Judy Dunn]

@Carl: You have a way of making me smile. Thank you for that comment. You made my day.

@Rene: I know. I couldn't imagine King as a grammar instructor, but, hey, he used to be a high school English teacher. He pulled it off beautifully in his book on writing. Makes even English composition engaging and entertaining.

[Nancy Colson]

Judy - nice post. Although I have never been a big Steven King fan, I love his book "On Writing" and have given it to several writer friends. I also love, "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves" which takes on the whole world of misplaced and misused punctuation. It's instructive and hilarious.

[Judy Dunn]

Nancy,

Okay. As if I don't have enough books on writing... :-)

I'm going to have to check out "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" now. Bob (Mr. CatsEyeDesign) tells me to stop buying books and get on with my writing already!

I love King's book, too. I really connect with his sense of humor. Thanks for stopping by.

[Maggie White]

Judy:

Way down the line (it takes me a while) I read Nancy's comment about "Eats, Shoots and Leaves". I have a copy, if you would like to borrow it; it is very funny. But it is also English, so some rules may be different, like the 2nd comma Nancy put in after Shoots. English doesn't use one before the 'and'.

Here's something I just found from the Seattle Times, which really does drive me crazy. Where was her Editor? "Business executives traveling through the area and want to check out perspective places to relocate;". Maybe I should keep things in prospective?

Maggie

[Judy Dunn]

Maggie,

I think I'm seeing where the author is going, just from the title. There has been much discussion about the serial comma rule. Most U.S. style guides (except for Associated press, which is the Bible for journalists), say that the comma should go before the "and," also:

...milk, butter, and eggs.

However, common usage is a different story.

And the "perspective" error you caught in the esteemed Seattle Times? Wow. That's glaring.